From the Heart

The past few months have been like something from a mystery novel. You see, I am an adopted child. A secret. A closed adoption...that is, until the law in our state changed and this past July I was able to apply for and receive my REAL birth certificate. And with the simple opening of an envelope from the state, I viewed the name of the woman who made a choice and a great sacrifice.

In the weeks and months that have followed, I have been able to find her. I know where she lives and who she is married to, as well as all the marriages and other children that are part of her life. Do they know I exist? Only my aunt, who hadn't know and was willing to talk to a dear friend of mine several times, and of course, my mother, who still doesn't want to talk about it, even with her own twin sister. But, God has spoken truth to my heart. He loves me and knows me. I have a place in HIS family and I have my own family who I love and adore and fill my life with joy and satisfaction.

With that in mind, and asking the Holy Spirit to help me write a letter to her, He who is faithful did just that. Below you will find the letter I wrote to my mother, sent to my aunt to pass on to her and am praying for that to happen.

Dear Mom,

The very first thing I want to say is Thank You. Thank you for the choice you made. As a mother myself,  I can’t imagine the pain and agony you went through to make such a difficult choice to give up your child. From the moment you knew I existed you were put in a place of choices. So many choices, so overwhelming and at times you probably didn’t know where to turn. It’s OK, for you see, before you knew I existed, God knew me, delighted in me and was knitting me together for His glory. He knew your pain, your struggles and ultimately, your sacrifice. Maybe you could sense Him, maybe not, but through it all, He was there. Knowing you, knowing me and knowing what your decision would be. He made a way. He guided every moment of every decision. I was placed in a home with a loving mother and father, who did the best they could to raise me to be a loving, caring and God-fearing woman.

I know I am still a secret that you don’t want to talk about and that is OK. I hope you know that there is one above all who knows our every secret and wants to bring freedom and healing.

So here I am, letting you know that I thank you, bless you, forgive you and love you for doing the right thing under difficult circumstances. You were not and are not a failure. You are brave, courageous, fearless and noble. I pray you know that.

I rise up and call you blessed.
Your daughter

My Heart for Giving...to Missionaries

I am struggling with something these days. Why is it that we, as Christians, who know the importance of sharing our faith and of sending missionaries out to the field, struggle with giving when those who have the call of God on their lives for missions ask us to support them financially? Why can't we seem find it in ourselves to step up and give? I see them ask for any amount, be it five or ten dollars, to help them live and travel to where God is sending them. This is next to NOTHING that they are asking for...seriously, a couple of gallons of gas, a few lattes, a 12 pack of beer or you come up with what you spend ten dollars a week on. Don’t most of us dribble away that much in fancy latte’s and other junk food in just a week? Have we really become so selfish to think that we expect someone else to support them? Where is our love, compassion and devotion to Him who has saved us by His grace? Do we not understand that in our selfLESS giving and yes,even possible sacrificial giving (giving up that latte for a week), that God will bless us? Yep, I said it..God will bless you in YOUR sacrificial giving. Just a few years ago, I told my son, “if I won the lottery, think of all the missionaries I could support!” and he said, “mom, you don’t have to win the lottery to support missionaries, you just need to start giving”. So, I did, it wasn't much at first and in that time, I am now helping to support several missionaries,(including my own son). Did I magically receive a check for millions for doing so? No, but, I have noticed that I have enough to not only support them, but we have enough to take care of ourselves, help our other children and still have lattes. You see, God has been faithful to me, to us, to our son. But, I wonder, what blessings did I miss when I thought I couldn’t afford to give and didn’t.

AT&T - Listen to Your Customers, please.

I bought my first cell phone in 1995 and have used AT&T as my carrier for the greater period since that time. I have had numerous good experiences with AT&T customer service over the years and have never minded paying for the five lines ($250+ a month) for our family plan for the past six years. Overall AT&T has been easy and painless. Until we moved in October of 2011

We moved approximately two miles north (as the crow flies) of our previous home where we had had perfect wireless service. No failed calls, missed calls, or texts that never arrived. This past October when my elderly father needed to move in to retirement, we sold our home and by his request, moved in to his home. Now, there is not a day that goes by that I don’t have failed calls, missed calls, texts that never get to their intended recipient. I miss calls from my husband,my kids, my dad, friends, as well as business contacts since I work from home as well.

My husband contacted AT&T customer service regarding our problem with service and he was offered a micro-cell at no charge to help bring in a stronger signal. This device, while it worked for it’s intended purpose, caused daily headaches for us. Once it was turned off, the headaches subsided and we felt, for health purposes this was not a viable solution. I then contacted customer service this past Sunday, March 11, 2012 and spoke to Supervisor #1* in Ogden, Utah about this issue. He suggested we upgrade our SIM cards as they were nearly two years old. My husband and I went down to our local AT&T store where a friendly store employee* helped us transfer our information to the new SIM cards and rebooted our phones. We were excited to get home and see how this would help. Long story short, this did NOT help, in fact, my phone, the Blackberry Torch, is worse. I gave it five days to see if would get better, but it hasn’t. I can no longer update my Facebook, it used to update the Facebook feed automatically, it no longer does that, telling me, in a nice little display box that I don’t have enough signal. Now, when I am home, ALL my incoming calls go straight to voicemail, when I try to call out it takes me two or three failed calls before one goes through, calls drop when I am in the middle of conversation. I have one bar of service, it’s normally in EDGE mode and I don’t feel this is what AT&T’s service should be known for.

This morning, Friday, March 16, 2012 I began my day by placing another call to customer service. Unable to get a hold of Supervisor #1, I spoke with Supervisor #2, he assured me over and over that I would not be able to “Get out of my contract”, that I had signed an agreement that limited AT&T’s responsibility to me as a customer, basically, I just had to continue with poor wireless service until my contract was up. I asked to speak to his supervisor, he put me on hold and then came back on the phone a few minutes later and said that his supervisor, Supervisor #3 had agreed to wave three of the early termination fees. I said I would talk it over with my husband and Supervisor #2 said he would have someone call me back in four and a half hours to get my answer. After talking it over with my husband, we felt this was fair and so I waited for the call back. Approximately four and half hours later , while I am outside my home I get a call back from Supervisor #4, another supervisor in Ogden, Utah. He first asked if my husband and I had agreed to accept the offer of the waving of the three early terminations fees and I said yes, we have talked it over and felt this was fair. He then paused and said the offer didn’t seem right to him, and I once again explained the service issue. He then said he would check with his supervisor (#5) and get back to me within 30 minutes since the supervisor was in a meeting and should be out in that time frame.

Over an hour later I finally receive a call (I am not at home at this point) and Supervisor #4 tells me that they are withdrawing their offer, that iphones can’t do early termination due to contractual obligations with Apple, that only my Blackberry can have early termination. He then offers me an extra $100 to sweeten the deal. While I understand the back peddling, I was offered this deal by at least three supervisors and feel AT&T should keep their word.

I am sure you can imagine my frustration at this point. I have spent several hours on the phone getting different answers, somewhat condescending attitudes and all the while, I am just trying to get some help from a company that I have spent thousands of dollars with, years of service to and this is what I am told...you signed a contract, you have no way out...I am saddened by how customer service has gone out the door. My husband and I own a small business and we bend over backwards to help and service our customers. I hope that someone can see that we have done all we can, we have honored our side of the contract, but with spotty service at best, we need out. AT&T please honor your offering of waving the three early termination fees, or better yet, for all this time and aggravation, wave all five.

One last observation, on their customer agreement it does say this:"Service in not available at all times in all places. There are gaps in coverage within the service areas shown on maps". I totally get this, there are spots that have bad coverage and while driving through those areas, I shouldn't expect good service or any service at all. BUT..really AT&T? This is a residential area, in a city, Verizon has excellent service here, you claim to have the best coverage in the nation and you can't get service to my neighborhood?

Please, just let us go.

*Names have been changed so as not to be sued for talking about my customer service experience.

Things Change, Don't They?

I can hardly believe it's been over a year since I last posted to my blog. It started as a way for me to share funny or interesting things I saw or happened to me. But, then un-funny things began to happen. A close and very loved family member was diagnosed with a condition that took her life this past January. My husband and I decided it was more important to keep our small business afloat, thus keeping others employed, than make our HUGE house payment. The bank refused to "modify" our current loan ( after sending them close to 400 pages of documents, mostly repeats because they kept telling me "we didn't receive them) and then find out we don't qualify anymore. My former spouse owing me close to $50,000 in back child support, finally paying weekly payments now that our baby is ready to fly the nest. And last, but not least, my own struggle with what I thought had been forgiveness turned out wasn't as complete as I thought. I have to say THANK YOU JESUS for finally bringing it fully to light where I could finally forgive completely. Finally, words have become just that...words..the pain, frustration, bitterness and resentment they used to bring, now only bring...well, nothing. I really shouldn't say nothing, they bring no emotion other than...well...joy. You see, God is renewing my mind. I never really understood that until this past week, when I read words, from someone who is full of pain and other emotions and feels the need to share them over and over and has for the past 11 years. In the past, the words would have sent me in to weeks of regurgitation. You know what I mean, the mulling over, talking about, not letting go until all your energy is used up kind of stuff. I am free from that now! The Lord has set me free. A few weeks ago I asked the Lord to renew my mind. I didn't feel a thunderbolt from heaven, or have an angelic visitation, but I did begin to notice worship songs coming to mind and I began to see things from a different perspective - a God perspective, as it were. He answered my prayer! This time, I just thought, they are just words and this person needs God's love to heal the gaping wound those kinds of words come from. So, now, I pray, pray for that person, that they may know forgiveness, walk in freedom, and have their mind renewed by Jesus.

Mr.Chainsaw

Dear Mr. Chainsaw,

Why oh why did you decide that 8am was a good time to start clearing out all the wonderful black berry bushes that have dangled over my back fence? The bushes that have lived there peacefully for the past 8 years. Why oh why did you take down those organically growing, non polluted by car exhaust bushes that give me huge delicious berries every summer? Your yard is gigantic, the rest of it could use more help, you have left all kinds of dead vines that are now slipping under the fence and in to my flower beds. You also left all kinds of dead or now dying vines hanging from the gangly trees you have uncovered in the wake of you noise. And now, once again, your noise increases and you are apparently destroying the beautiful big hedge that give me a sense of privacy. I can only hope that your chainsaw sees what you are doing and decides to not start.

with disgust,
you sassy neighbor

So there I was, traveling down the highway, which in this neck of the woods is much like a freeway, and I saw something that caught my eye and made me chuckle. At 60 mph I go passing by a nice looking young lady in her politically correct Toyota Prius and out of her mouth is hanging a cigarette. I don't know about you, but to me, it seemed like a bit of an oxymoron. There she is..giving her statement about saving mother earth and yet..smoke. hmmmm One of these days I am going to write about dress shopping.

Christmas Already?

It has been a long time since I have written anything. Not that I haven't had times when I would like to just write whatever was on my mind, but I determined when I started this blog to only write about things that either shocked me or I found to be a bit quirky or humorous (at least to me). To be perfectly frank, I haven't really had anything like that happen to me for several months. Now this could be due to the gift of Swine Flu that came to our home and took us down one by one, or the simple fact that a couple family members had surgery and I have been trying to make sure they are back up and functional by Christmas.

Anyway..long story short..I am still here..and hoping for a quirky, humorous and somewhat shocking new year. I hope the same for you!