From the Heart

The past few months have been like something from a mystery novel. You see, I am an adopted child. A secret. A closed adoption...that is, until the law in our state changed and this past July I was able to apply for and receive my REAL birth certificate. And with the simple opening of an envelope from the state, I viewed the name of the woman who made a choice and a great sacrifice.

In the weeks and months that have followed, I have been able to find her. I know where she lives and who she is married to, as well as all the marriages and other children that are part of her life. Do they know I exist? Only my aunt, who hadn't know and was willing to talk to a dear friend of mine several times, and of course, my mother, who still doesn't want to talk about it, even with her own twin sister. But, God has spoken truth to my heart. He loves me and knows me. I have a place in HIS family and I have my own family who I love and adore and fill my life with joy and satisfaction.

With that in mind, and asking the Holy Spirit to help me write a letter to her, He who is faithful did just that. Below you will find the letter I wrote to my mother, sent to my aunt to pass on to her and am praying for that to happen.

Dear Mom,

The very first thing I want to say is Thank You. Thank you for the choice you made. As a mother myself,  I can’t imagine the pain and agony you went through to make such a difficult choice to give up your child. From the moment you knew I existed you were put in a place of choices. So many choices, so overwhelming and at times you probably didn’t know where to turn. It’s OK, for you see, before you knew I existed, God knew me, delighted in me and was knitting me together for His glory. He knew your pain, your struggles and ultimately, your sacrifice. Maybe you could sense Him, maybe not, but through it all, He was there. Knowing you, knowing me and knowing what your decision would be. He made a way. He guided every moment of every decision. I was placed in a home with a loving mother and father, who did the best they could to raise me to be a loving, caring and God-fearing woman.

I know I am still a secret that you don’t want to talk about and that is OK. I hope you know that there is one above all who knows our every secret and wants to bring freedom and healing.

So here I am, letting you know that I thank you, bless you, forgive you and love you for doing the right thing under difficult circumstances. You were not and are not a failure. You are brave, courageous, fearless and noble. I pray you know that.

I rise up and call you blessed.
Your daughter